I've been having a great struggle today and remembered my son's blog post from a few days ago. (If you want to read it go to http://danielmarkwhite.blogspot.com, Reflection.) Here is my response to his post.
"Came back to this post because I have been very critical today, wanting to lash out and complain about a lot of things...all the time asking myself why I'm so "cranky" today. The message this morning was fantastic so why didn't that soothe my heart? so kept asking...I think that it is because something very hurtful is happening and I have absolutely no control over it. For application this morning, Pastor asked where we find peace...and pointed us to God's Sovereignty, His Providence, His Infallibility, and His Love. So will I find peace in God or continue to fight? I'm working on surrender, joyous surrender."
Just a few days ago, I was cold to this particular situation, today I'm torn up. The emotional part of the trial has caught up with me again and I am directing my sorrow at other things. The truth is that I am unhappy that the situation is not getting better. And ultimately that means that I am not resting in the truth of God's character. This is the human condition. This is a spiritual battle.
So when you find yourself being "cranky"...angry that a church service was cancelled even though you didn't want to go in the first place, irritable because the store is crowded and you can't find what you want, sulking because your spouse didn't answer your question or when he did answer, his tone wasn't "nice," and I could go on and on... stop and ask yourself what is really going on. Maybe go through the questions Dan posted on his blog.
You are probably in a battle of surrender and nothing short of giving in to the will (agreeing with truth) of God, which is always good and always for your best and the best of those you love, will bring peace. By the way, He is in the battle with us and understands we are dust. He shines in our weakness.