Monday, April 27, 2009

Do you know what you really want?

"If he isn't going to talk with me about money, then I am going to spend what I please."
"I want him to stand up to me. He's too passive" ... so she spends and he cleans up the mess

These are common thoughts, and I've heard them said out loud. Upon hearing her own voice, does the person saying those words realize just how foolish she is being? Have you ever found yourself using this passive aggressive tactic? Probably at some time in your life...maybe not in the exact same senario.

What is it with us women? We think we want to be in control, and sometimes we do... until we get tired of the responsibility. We think we want things our way, until we alienate those around us because they can't measure up to our standards and we find ourselves packing the car alone, planning family events alone, doing the chores alone, raising the kids alone, etc.

So what do we women want? Do we want our husbands to stand up to us even when we are being brats? Do we want to them to be strong enough to confront us when we are wrong? I know that in the midst of some of my worst temper tantrums (PMS), I have hoped he would stop me. Have you seen the menopause episode of Everybody Loves Raymond? I know we want them to love us in spite of our flaws, but do we really want accountability? do we want them to intervene or let us have our way?

I am not going to talk about their Biblical responsibility. I am asking us women to think about our resonsibility before God. Every woman knows or will find out that even if she thinks she wants her way and even if she thinks she wants to be in control...IF he lets her have her way and if he doesn't step up and stand up to her when necessary, she will come to disrespect him. So why don't we make it easier on our men and fulfill our responsibility to he a "helper suitable". When we are out of line, apologize. Ask for his input, and follow it (not saying blindly follow, but listen with open ears). And if we know we have a problem with control, confess it to him and ask him to help. And then, even if he doesn't step up, interfere, etc......we have scripture to rein us in. We have no one to blame for our bad behavior.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


35 years ... can I start over? with the same man (YES)! It's a good thing that our memories go with age. I think he remembers me more kindly than I remember myself. Soooooooo grateful for the work of God in our lives that has kept us to this time. We are going to Whispering Pines at Atwood Lake this weekend (a gift from Sarah) and hoped to take our's snowing outside today! there's still hope for Friday.