The work of God, like a dream!

While working on my Bible study on Psalm 126, I was reminded of something that happened several years ago that seemed to good to be true. Our car had broken down and had to be abandoned...no fix. I was using a red wagon to walk to the grocery store for food and then a friend graciously loaned us their car (thanks again Tim and Jan Ritchie) My attitude was pretty good until Don's truck broke down...that was the last straw and I cried and told God it was just too much! Then one night as we were locking up the house for bed, I found a large envelope taped to our door...in it were papers for a car...a station wagon for our large family was parked out front...a gift from friends at our church. I was amazed and Don and I laughed and cried. The next day I asked my PA mother why God didn't give us the car when I was being good. Why did He wait until I was complaining? She just said, "God loves to give good gifts to His children." Psalm 126 brought to mind that time when I thought I must be dreaming (read it from the Message Bible). Friends bought us a car??? Too amazing and wonderful to imagine. Thank you again dear friends (we still don't know who they are, only that they were from SBBC). Verse 4 says "And now God, do it again:...God knows what I have been asking for. Tim and Charity are getting a room ready for Abigail. She plans to move in with them in September when she is released. That is not the only request I have sown in tears. "So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing." Please God!

Favorite Christmas Memory

One of the blogs in my google reader account showed us some wonderful toys from the Land of Nod (see jonesdesigncompany.com/holiday/land-of-nod/#ixzz1fNqEHiGt). They are giving away a $75 gift card which I would love to use for toys for our grandsons. To win, we have to leave a comment about a favorite childhood gift. Got me thinking:
Ummm, the very best childhood gift? I really can’t think of one in particular. What I do remember vividly is that my Mother always left one gift for each of us unwrapped under the Christmas tree. When we came down the stairs in the morning there was no hesitation over whose gift was whose. Even if we hadn’t specifically asked for what what there, each of us four kids KNEW the gift intended for us. Kind of like God’s gifts…each one chosen especially for us…because he KNOWS us.

36 years ago...

I was eagerly waiting the arrival of our first child...and yes, with some fear and trepidation...mostly fear of the unknown. I was so excited that I would finally be a mother even though I was only 19 years old. My life's dream was to marry and have childen and that dream was soon to be realized.
Since I was all of three days overdue, Don and I went for a long walk...nothing happened. I then scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hand and knees (old wive's tale?) and started cramping. I had no idea I was in labor because all the more experienced women I had talked with breezily said, "oh, you will KNOW when you are in labor." HA! I thought that I was constipated so ended up eating several prunes over the next few hours. By the next morning, I still didn't know what was happening so told Don to go on to class because there was no consistency to the cramps. An experienced mother came over to stay with me and advised me to call the hospital. The nurse there told me that I probably was in early labor but should come in to be checked out. All of the married men knew why Don was being called out of class so that is a fun memory. When we arrived at the hospital (a half hour away) and I was checked, the doctor said I probably wouldn't deliver until early afternoon. It was about 9 am by then. Since I was dilated 5 cm. but my contractions weren't regular, the doctor ordered pitocin...a small sublingual pill! Well, that did it! My beautiful pink baby girl arrived at 10:16 am! I had become a mother and my dreams had come true! As I write this, Don is sitting here going through the 1975/76 photo album looking at those first pictures of our sweet girl. If they were digital, I would post the one of her and her daddy when he brought flowers to her when she was just 6 months old. I wonder if Sarah remembers the jumping kangaroo that she received her first Christmas. Dad just shared his memory with details I had not heard before.
We love you Sarah Elizabeth White!

Eeyore or Pooh

This blog entry http://www.incourage.me/2011/09/savoring-time-together.html) from (in)courage spurred this remembrance: For 19 years, we lived in a transient community near Baptist Bible College in NE, PA. I hated it. I would make good friends getting closer and closer during their time at the college (through our local church) and then they would be off...to ministry, back home, wherever God wanted them to go. Then one fall seven years later, I found myself remarking to another woman in the church, "I wonder who God is going to bring to us this year." Know how your own words can shock you when you hear them coming from your mouth? Where had the change come from? From hating the separations and feeling that God was taking from me, to eagerly looking to see who He would bring next. Ah....God had done a sweet silent work in my heart. What a special blessing when the God of the Universe touches us. Perspective is so important.

Loneliness (part 1)

From my journal today...I googled "lonely" and "loneliness" and was surprised to find so much discussion:blogs, books, even studies.I keep trying to identify this feeling. I want it to go away. It's uncomfortable. I feel empty. I thought it was anxiety--this feeling of tears behind my eyeballs for no apparent reason, this search for peace and rest. I've been told that emotions are trecherous advisors and since I have a history of being an emotional thinker (moody), I am quick to think that the emotion itself is wrong. I think I'm just lonely. I walk into church (a normal social place for me) and say hi and struggle with small talk but what I am really looking for is connnection. I search people's faces hoping for a glimpse of...what? "I see you, you are of value to me, I have room for you in my life." I have potential friend radar up but yet I am very afraid of being too needy and I am terribly afraid of rejection (or perceived rejection). Somehow I view this as a problem--something is WRONG with me, if only I was plugged into God correctly, I would be full. I hear "God is enough" and I desperately want Him to be. But then I know also that He made us to be relational.
So, would you dialogue with me about this? I'm sure now that I am not the only one who feels this way. Just writing this makes me feel better (a diagnosis helps). Will I really press "publish" or be safe and keep it hidden in my journal? I did spend time this morning doing a study of "lonely" and "alone" in the Bible...that may be in part 2.

Bananas or Lemons?

Recently, while talking with three different friends about what is happening in their lives, they shared stories about the trials of trying to care for their mothers. Because of health issues and natural aging issues, they have been put in the position of having to take charge to see that their mothers are cared for. All three of these mothers are making it very difficult on their daughters...being unkind and actually abusive to those people who love them the most. Each of these daughters have grounds to withdraw and let natural consequences happen. But instead, each of these daughters is choosing to honor their difficult parent and hang in there and try to make the best decisions they know how to make for the longterm good of their parent.

My mother has said that when she needs care, she will gladly move to Ohio to live with one of us and we will then share in her care. Mother has always been outgoing and friendly so during her stay in the nursing home she naturally went from room to room visiting those who were not as mobile and finding partners to play games with. She is "given to hospitality" so takes that with her wherever she goes. If you are driving through central West Virginia and need a place to stay, she will take you in even if she has never met you and make you feel at home.

The lesson is that as we age, we grow stronger in whatever we have already are. I have often wondered if I would sweeten like a banana, or be sour and bitter like a lemon. I truly want to be a sweet old lady...actually, I want to be a sweet middle-ager. It is my prayer that I will yield to God's hands and become sweeter and sweeter. I do not want to resist any work that He wants to do in me.

Even When Things Go Wrong, You Can Have Joy

Our ladies at Calvary have just started a new study using the Wiersbe Bible study series book on Philippians. The alternate title is Even When things go Wrong, You Can Have Joy. I hope to do several posts on things that God teaches me though this book. This post should really have come before the previous post, but I was so excited that I have done them out of order.

We almost didn't do a study this spring since Aimee has a new baby and has returned to work full time and I had surgery. But our hearts are hungry for the Word and for women to share with. The Holy Spirit put this study before Aimee and she obeyed. I have already been blessed and centered and given focus during a turbulent time in my life.

More to come.